Comments for Sumedh Mungee http://mungee.org Mon, 14 Nov 2011 13:43:18 +0000 hourly 1 http://wordpress.org/?v=3.2.1 Comment on While I’m Still Alive by James Gurung http://mungee.org/2011/10/27/while-im-still-alive/#comment-118 James Gurung Mon, 14 Nov 2011 13:43:18 +0000 http://mungee.org/?p=150#comment-118 Read and empathized with your article. We moved back to India in 2008 and have moved back to the west a couple of weeks ago. We came to India full of good intentions – we will treat people we hire well, pay them much higher than market wages, get them to eat with us etc and at the end of nearly 4 years, found that we had given out loans of more than Rs 1 lakh each to everyone who worked for us, which never came back (all of them had house leases coming up for renewal at the same time), paid for medical expenses for our driver´s father, who we later found had died in 2001. Finally, we fired the maid for stealing jewellery and the driver for wrecking our car after he took it out on some personal business. There is a loss of innocence involved as you say- in checking your maid´s bag in her presence and finding your jewellery in it or in finding out that the driver has negotiated with the car that hit him to “forget” to file a police claim. But how much money is it? All the extra money we paid or lost, we can recover within a couple of months overseas. I guess it may the same case with you. It is just that being fooled like this hurts. We miss India – we miss the food, we miss our parents, the kids miss their grandparents, we miss how kind our kids school teachers are in India (and how commercial western education is in comparison), we miss the temples and we miss that slow pace of life. We moved back, primarily for economic reasons – the same reasons we moved to the west nearly 12 years ago – we simply earn far more outside India. If we were very rich, we will stay in India forever. Read and empathized with your article. We moved back to India in 2008 and have moved back to the west a couple of weeks ago. We came to India full of good intentions – we will treat people we hire well, pay them much higher than market wages, get them to eat with us etc and at the end of nearly 4 years, found that we had given out loans of more than Rs 1 lakh each to everyone who worked for us, which never came back (all of them had house leases coming up for renewal at the same time), paid for medical expenses for our driver´s father, who we later found had died in 2001.

Finally, we fired the maid for stealing jewellery and the driver for wrecking our car after he took it out on some personal business. There is a loss of innocence involved as you say- in checking your maid´s bag in her presence and finding your jewellery in it or in finding out that the driver has negotiated with the car that hit him to “forget” to file a police claim.

But how much money is it? All the extra money we paid or lost, we can recover within a couple of months overseas. I guess it may the same case with you. It is just that being fooled like this hurts.

We miss India – we miss the food, we miss our parents, the kids miss their grandparents, we miss how kind our kids school teachers are in India (and how commercial western education is in comparison), we miss the temples and we miss that slow pace of life. We moved back, primarily for economic reasons – the same reasons we moved to the west nearly 12 years ago – we simply earn far more outside India.

If we were very rich, we will stay in India forever.

]]> Comment on While I’m Still Alive by Vikram http://mungee.org/2011/10/27/while-im-still-alive/#comment-116 Vikram Sat, 12 Nov 2011 18:16:02 +0000 http://mungee.org/?p=150#comment-116 Sumedh, I completely understand your desire to migrate and completely support your right to do so. But you say, "I blame my inability to handle the internalized stress that comes not only from being immersed in a society with so much poverty, but also in a culture that largely accepts the status quo." Isnt just packing up and leaving the ultimate acceptance of the status quo ? I dont see how doing so 'rejects' the status quo. In fact, it indicates an acceptance of the unfair status quos in both India and the US. Sumedh, I completely understand your desire to migrate and completely support your right to do so.

But you say, “I blame my inability to handle the internalized stress that comes not only from being immersed in a society with so much poverty, but also in a culture that largely accepts the status quo.”

Isnt just packing up and leaving the ultimate acceptance of the status quo ? I dont see how doing so ‘rejects’ the status quo. In fact, it indicates an acceptance of the unfair status quos in both India and the US.

]]> Comment on While I’m Still Alive by Naveen Gupta http://mungee.org/2011/10/27/while-im-still-alive/#comment-114 Naveen Gupta Fri, 11 Nov 2011 09:33:15 +0000 http://mungee.org/?p=150#comment-114 Hi Sumedh, Contratulations on being still alive. You have raised a storm and lived to tell the tale. Another feather in your cap, and plucked from your own plume at that! I read your departure note and couldn't help thinking that all the drawbacks you listed were in fact your own drawbacks. It was you who did the 'terrible terrible' things that you mentioned. It was you who looked down at people, abused them, refused to help, etcetra. The grotesque creature that you were becoming was not through transformation but through revelation. The monster had walked out of the closet. India had shown you a mirror and you were terrified of the reflection. So you chose to attack that mirror, as if the monster was in the reflection and not in your self. Everywhere in your essay there is a 'me' and a 'them'. The 'me' is an NRI who was amongst the dregs of US society and decided he could lord over poor oppressed Indian people - dazzle them with dollars. There was a time when such an effect could have been produced. Not any more. Nobody paid homage to you, not even an hawker. Your driver did not respect you -- I bet you wouldn't if you were him. You thought that you saw respect in the drivers eye when you abused a hawker -- it was acknowledgement of your faults that showed through the veneer of sophistication. When you came to India, you found that you were insignificant so you ran away, back to US where you gained a semblance of significance (because you were Indian of skin) and NYT decided to publish an essay by you in 'Notes on the world's largest democracy'. NYT chose an honest injun to speak for India. I can understand that you had a bad time here. You could have had a bad time in any place. It is not about the place being good or bad, it is about how you touch the people there. Try to live even a day as you must have lived here in India (in terms of acts and demeanour), try to speak to people the way you did (even before you 'learned' to abuse) and behold the wrath of your cherished American society. In fact try to do this anywhere in the world and see what you get. I am not a betting man, but even if I was, I would not take bets on your living to tell the tale. Buy a mirror and remember that objects in the mirror are closer than they appear. Hi Sumedh,

Contratulations on being still alive. You have raised a storm and lived to tell the tale. Another feather in your cap, and plucked from your own plume at that!

I read your departure note and couldn’t help thinking that all the drawbacks you listed were in fact your own drawbacks. It was you who did the ‘terrible terrible’ things that you mentioned. It was you who looked down at people, abused them, refused to help, etcetra. The grotesque creature that you were becoming was not through transformation but through revelation. The monster had walked out of the closet. India had shown you a mirror and you were terrified of the reflection.

So you chose to attack that mirror, as if the monster was in the reflection and not in your self. Everywhere in your essay there is a ‘me’ and a ‘them’. The ‘me’ is an NRI who was amongst the dregs of US society and decided he could lord over poor oppressed Indian people – dazzle them with dollars. There was a time when such an effect could have been produced. Not any more. Nobody paid homage to you, not even an hawker. Your driver did not respect you — I bet you wouldn’t if you were him. You thought that you saw respect in the drivers eye when you abused a hawker — it was acknowledgement of your faults that showed through the veneer of sophistication.

When you came to India, you found that you were insignificant so you ran away, back to US where you gained a semblance of significance (because you were Indian of skin) and NYT decided to publish an essay by you in ‘Notes on the world’s largest democracy’. NYT chose an honest injun to speak for India.

I can understand that you had a bad time here. You could have had a bad time in any place. It is not about the place being good or bad, it is about how you touch the people there. Try to live even a day as you must have lived here in India (in terms of acts and demeanour), try to speak to people the way you did (even before you ‘learned’ to abuse) and behold the wrath of your cherished American society. In fact try to do this anywhere in the world and see what you get. I am not a betting man, but even if I was, I would not take bets on your living to tell the tale.

Buy a mirror and remember that objects in the mirror are closer than they appear.

]]> Comment on While I’m Still Alive by Raj http://mungee.org/2011/10/27/while-im-still-alive/#comment-113 Raj Thu, 10 Nov 2011 11:37:47 +0000 http://mungee.org/?p=150#comment-113 The moral of the article/story (according to my children) is real humanity if superficial, has to come out at some point, esp in India where reality checks come up every day (if not every other moment). I can't agree less. I shared your original article with friends who too said they were hurt, which subsequently made me stop sharing it. The callousness of the NRI, some said. I have lived in Italy (mainly) & other parts of Europe over 10 years & is currently settled in India & pursuing (real estate & construction) projects. I have not just been doing well, but have found myself fulfilling my parents' need to have them supported & loved. I have several friends (most of the from the silicon valley) doing much better in India, than they used to back in the US. I have a trust worthy driver for many years & a maid who is like family. I went the same road sometimes, but hardly exploded, nor did I (most importantly) make blank statements on a whole population. Though we're hurt, I do not expect anything out of you. As my grandparents always said, the actions of the parents will bear fruit in the live's of their children & will return you in old age. The moral of the article/story (according to my children) is real humanity if superficial, has to come out at some point, esp in India where reality checks come up every day (if not every other moment). I can’t agree less. I shared your original article with friends who too said they were hurt, which subsequently made me stop sharing it. The callousness of the NRI, some said. I have lived in Italy (mainly) & other parts of Europe over 10 years & is currently settled in India & pursuing (real estate & construction) projects. I have not just been doing well, but have found myself fulfilling my parents’ need to have them supported & loved. I have several friends (most of the from the silicon valley) doing much better in India, than they used to back in the US.

I have a trust worthy driver for many years & a maid who is like family. I went the same road sometimes, but hardly exploded, nor did I (most importantly) make blank statements on a whole population.

Though we’re hurt, I do not expect anything out of you. As my grandparents always said, the actions of the parents will bear fruit in the live’s of their children & will return you in old age.

]]> Comment on While I’m Still Alive by sneha http://mungee.org/2011/10/27/while-im-still-alive/#comment-98 sneha Wed, 09 Nov 2011 05:43:31 +0000 http://mungee.org/?p=150#comment-98 "a culture that largely accepts the status quo" - fyi you are the "culture" that largely accepts the status quo. No, i dont think you are under any obligation to bring about a change, but it's not really about your inability to deal with a culture that accepts the status quo. it's your inability to deal with a reflection of yourself. What bothers, though, is the authority you think you seem to have to yell at a hawker on the road. (now that is status quo - the top 3% who think they own "poor" people ) I'm sure you would have thought a hundred times before yelling at a guy driving a merc instead. “a culture that largely accepts the status quo” – fyi you are the “culture” that largely accepts the status quo. No, i dont think you are under any obligation to bring about a change, but it’s not really about your inability to deal with a culture that accepts the status quo. it’s your inability to deal with a reflection of yourself. What bothers, though, is the authority you think you seem to have to yell at a hawker on the road. (now that is status quo – the top 3% who think they own “poor” people ) I’m sure you would have thought a hundred times before yelling at a guy driving a merc instead.

]]> Comment on While I’m Still Alive by AJ http://mungee.org/2011/10/27/while-im-still-alive/#comment-94 AJ Mon, 07 Nov 2011 01:17:13 +0000 http://mungee.org/?p=150#comment-94 Very well written. A lot of food for thought for NRIs contemplating a move back. "The idea that you can fix India’s problems by adding more people to it — even smart people — is highly suspect." Couldn't agree more. It irks me to see the very root of India's problems, her uncontrollable population, being touted as the very reason for her huge growth. There must be some leap of logic that I don't understand. Welcome back to California. Very well written. A lot of food for thought for NRIs contemplating a move back.

“The idea that you can fix India’s problems by adding more people to it — even smart people — is highly suspect.”

Couldn’t agree more. It irks me to see the very root of India’s problems, her uncontrollable population, being touted as the very reason for her huge growth. There must be some leap of logic that I don’t understand.

Welcome back to California.

]]> Comment on While I’m Still Alive by Omer http://mungee.org/2011/10/27/while-im-still-alive/#comment-86 Omer Thu, 03 Nov 2011 08:10:06 +0000 http://mungee.org/?p=150#comment-86 Nuances of speech and Italics can be so hard to put together for those not familiar! Nuances of speech and Italics can be so hard to put together for those not familiar!

]]> Comment on While I’m Still Alive by mike foster http://mungee.org/2011/10/27/while-im-still-alive/#comment-84 mike foster Thu, 03 Nov 2011 04:51:03 +0000 http://mungee.org/?p=150#comment-84 Sumedh, Nothing about India makes you evil, you are just erroneously justifying your stance, your argument is "Reductio Ad Absurdum" where in your proposition is making you come to absurd conclusions just because you became insensitive doesn't mean its the environments fault or its country's fault, it is solely you, Just to give you an example, "A Country doesnt make a person , evil, wicked , unethical or destructive... its solely you!! you as the author have fallacy of generalization, you cant come up with a broad conclusion from a small number of unrepresentative cases! Sumedh,
Nothing about India makes you evil, you are just erroneously justifying your stance, your argument is “Reductio Ad Absurdum” where in your proposition is making you come to absurd conclusions just because you became insensitive doesn’t mean its the environments fault or its country’s fault, it is solely you, Just to give you an example, “A Country doesnt make a person , evil, wicked , unethical or destructive… its solely you!!
you as the author have fallacy of generalization, you cant come up with a broad conclusion from a small number of unrepresentative cases!

]]> Comment on While I’m Still Alive by IGotOut http://mungee.org/2011/10/27/while-im-still-alive/#comment-83 IGotOut Wed, 02 Nov 2011 17:59:29 +0000 http://mungee.org/?p=150#comment-83 Hi Sumedh, The vitriol from the people who don't like your reading on why you left tells me that what you said struck nerves all across. I am someone who grew up in the Middle East, then spend the next 18 years in India hating my life there and always feeling like I never belonged. When I moved to the US 8 years back I finally felt like I was home. On subsequent trips to India to visit the extended family, I realized how glad I was that I had decided never to return to India - the apathy that motorists show as they speed up when old people are crossing the road, the rich people in the high rises built next to sheer poverty that is ignored especially by the rich like it never exists, the lack of ability to trust anyone, the sense of being taken for a ride no matter what you did unless it was your direct family were things I couldn't put up with anymore. And I was slowly becoming that person too so I completely relate to what you said and I applaud you for honestly saying what many people feel and never admit or prefer to ignore as long as they make money. Keep writing - to the one who wants to track you down, tell him that crap works in India but not in the US; let him first clean his backyard then once he is done fixing India he can come find you. Hi Sumedh,
The vitriol from the people who don’t like your reading on why you left tells me that what you said struck nerves all across. I am someone who grew up in the Middle East, then spend the next 18 years in India hating my life there and always feeling like I never belonged. When I moved to the US 8 years back I finally felt like I was home. On subsequent trips to India to visit the extended family, I realized how glad I was that I had decided never to return to India – the apathy that motorists show as they speed up when old people are crossing the road, the rich people in the high rises built next to sheer poverty that is ignored especially by the rich like it never exists, the lack of ability to trust anyone, the sense of being taken for a ride no matter what you did unless it was your direct family were things I couldn’t put up with anymore. And I was slowly becoming that person too so I completely relate to what you said and I applaud you for honestly saying what many people feel and never admit or prefer to ignore as long as they make money. Keep writing – to the one who wants to track you down, tell him that crap works in India but not in the US; let him first clean his backyard then once he is done fixing India he can come find you.

]]> Comment on While I’m Still Alive by MUMBAIMETER » India Leaver Reacts To The Reactions http://mungee.org/2011/10/27/while-im-still-alive/#comment-82 MUMBAIMETER » India Leaver Reacts To The Reactions Wed, 02 Nov 2011 13:51:42 +0000 http://mungee.org/?p=150#comment-82 [...] was of an UNWANTED guest’, I wish to say: Happy Diwali.” See Mungee’s blog post here. Share this with friends Copyrights mumbaimeter.com - All rights [...] [...] was of an UNWANTED guest’, I wish to say: Happy Diwali.” See Mungee’s blog post here. Share this with friends Copyrights mumbaimeter.com – All rights [...]

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