Entries Tagged 'humor' ↓

Porn industry seeks obscene bailout

Even the Onion couldn’t make satire like this (except this is real):

The governments handing out money to the auto industry,” Francis, producer of the Girls Gone Wild video series, said on the phone from his Santa Monica office. Why shouldn’t it hand some to an industry the nation could not live without?” The request, Francis said, was being made in a letter to Rep. Barney Frank, D-Mass, and Treasury Secretary Henry Paul­son. The $5 billion figure, he said, reflects the decline in U.S. adult ­ entertainment - industry revenue from $18 billion three years ago.

Porn industry seeks its own stimulus package - Nova Scotia News - TheChronicleHerald.ca

Aside from making puns about a stimulus package, I do have one question:  If indeed the government is going to spend trillions on rescuing the economy, does it not make sense to have the stimulus as broadly diversified across industries as possible ? After all, the consumers of houses and autos are everywhere - not just on Wall Street or in Detroit.

Yahoo! Glue thinks stocks are devices for public humiliation

Now that we’re staring into the abyss for stocks again, I thought I’d check to see what the recently launched Yahoo! Glue had to say on stocks.

Stocks are devices used since medieval times for public humiliation, corporal punishment, and torture. The stocks are similar to the pillory and the pranger, as each consists of large, hinged, wooden boards; the difference, however, is that when a person is placed in the stocks, their feet are locked in place, and sometimes as well their hands or head, or these may be chained.

Everything about stocks - Yahoo! Glue

Even the most articulate of the bears would not have been able to put it better. And you thought the algorithms were dumb.

Here’s a screenshot for posterity (click to zoom)